yeah you right blog

shout out the bottom of the ocean

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You know what would be great? If anytime anyone even remotely famous or famous-adjacent to something of interest to geeky shut-in internet user types trapped in miserable office jobs looking for a few brief moments of respite from their dreary lives, if a person like that said or did anything at all unusual, no matter how tiny or unimportant or stupid or innocuous, it would be great if there were all of these websites that would repeat that one tiny thing. But wait, here’s the twist: each of them could have some 20-something underpaid brat adding a little line to the story, something that almost resembles humor but isn’t actually witty or funny in anyway, and just makes you wonder about their priorities or how they live their life. "According to another website, Alf told a German newspaper that he ‘likes eating cats.’ … Well, I guess somebody never heard of sandwiches, huh, Alf? Yonk yonk yonk." That sort of thing, where you go, “oh, I bet when they were children, they dreamed of being writers or journalists and this is sort of that dream coming horrifically true. Life is a terrible meaningless empty game nobody wins! Whee!” That should totally happen every single day, again and again, on dozens upon dozens of websites, all of them grotesquely desperate for “monetizable content” and staffed apparently exclusively by people so piss-desperate for attention that living their lives like a C-list member of one of those VH-1 “remember the 90’s shows” sounds like a good idea instead of fucking deeply depressing.

Oh howdy, that’d be wonderful. Just wonderful.

— The devil.  The actual devil. (via twiststreet)